How did this all start?

 

It all began with my own seeking.

I was a wild child with a lot of interests and a lot of questions. 

I sought out answers in many different ways: travel; religion; academia; alcohol and drugs; rebelliousness; conformity; acting out; shutting myself in; overeating; under-eating; sex; relationships.

Some methods were more constructive than others but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

I had no idea what.

In my early 20’s I discovered yoga and a big piece of the puzzle came together for me: wisdom is not only a product of the mind and our ability to think but rather, a communication between my body, my mind, and my spirit. 

This was a revelation. Simply to recognize that there was something greater than myself: a creative intelligence; a formless and beneficent source that I was apart of, impacted my life deeply. Yoga opened me to a whole new level of self awareness and understanding. 

I travelled all over the world seeking out the best teachers, gurus and experts in the fields of meditation and yoga but something was still missing. 

I was practicing with very strict, disciplined and theoretical teachers - almost all men. I often had the sensation of being trapped or smothered. I experienced physical manifestations of being a deeply feminine being stuck inside a masculine-oriented environment and community. 

I suppressed my physical impulses, my emotions, and my intuitions and was left utterly disconnected from my feminine body, my heart, and my spirit. 

I struggled with shame and confusion around my sexuality, my desire, my emotions and what it meant to be a woman. Life at that time had never been more dry, joyless and dull.

My vitality, physical appearance, my emotional range, my sex-life, my finances and my relationships… everything felt lackluster and flat. All parts of my life reflected a lack of connection to my most primal energy - my sexual energy.  Despite all the 'spiritual' work that I had done, I still felt this ache in my heart to truly know myself as a woman and to integrate my spirituality and my sexuality. 

Without knowing exactly why or where my search was taking me, I used all my resources to find teachers, seminars, workshops, temples, and traditions to help me discover and explore my authentic feminine. 

I danced, prayed, meditated, cried, healed and awakened to the part of myself that had called out to me for many, many years.

I became inclusive of my sexual and feminine energy and my life changed dramatically. Even my physical appearance changed. I literally began to have people approach me to tell me that I was shining or glowing. 

Life became more juicy, enjoyable and pleasurable. I began to attract better-feeling relationships and friendships. I found the work that turns me on and makes me come alive. I tapped into my innate gifts and became comfortable sharing them with the world. Addressing and healing my feminine self opened me up to more creativity, productivity and passion multiple aspects of my life. 

Through my experience, I've come to believe that in order to truly thrive, you must own your sexuality. Your sensual, sexual, and spiritual empowerment are connected: they nurture and sustain one another. Your sexual energy is your greatest resource and fuels all components of life. When it is approached with maturity and embraced, it lights up your whole life. 

I believe that no matter your age, your culture, your traumas, your past relationships, or your conditioning, you can be free of shame, guilt, and fear and live your life as a radiant and sexually liberated being. You can make peace with your sexual self and become a more empowered human being in the process. 

You can show up powerfully in the world, able to share your gifts and live the life you’ve always dreamed of; as the woman you’ve always known yourself to be. 

Blaire Lindsay